


An Empty Mirror

by hawkeing_eta



Category: Persona 2
Genre: Altered Memories, Altered Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, EP Centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 11:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18827794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkeing_eta/pseuds/hawkeing_eta
Summary: His heart beat painfully in his chest like rods had pierced it and his breath tangled in his lungs. He didn’t understand. It felt so sad and nostalgic as though at one point he had been intimately familiar with it.Jun was certain déjà vu shouldn’t be so violent.





	An Empty Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> A request with the following conditions:  
> \- Jun acts more as the protagonist of EP, told through snippets  
> \- Jun can still sense how Tatsuya's Persona feels (instead of just déjà vu)  
> \- Tatsuya became Joker

> The Station

Jun pulled his phone from his pocket. His fingers flicked it open as he looked at the screen for the time. His father had taken longer than either of them planned, but Jun didn’t mind. The work was important, at least to him, and Jun couldn’t deny he did enjoy doing the research. It made his father happy, and so it made Jun happy as well.

His phone snapped shut as he hurried down the street. His mother had a long shoot scheduled today at the TV station and if he was quick, he might be able to make it home before her. Not too far off, there was clatter of a train approaching the station as he passed by. It wasn’t often he heard it come in.

The crosswalk he needed was just up ahead, but a woman gasped in surprise and papers scattered across the plaza in front of the station. She quickly crouched down to scoop up her still fluttering papers. Jun instinctively stepped forward to help but paused when another young man beat him to it. He must have been the one to bump into her, Jun suspected. There was a heavy crease in his brow as his face bloomed with red and he maybe muttered an apology. Jun didn’t know. They were too far to hear, but he kept watching. He wasn’t sure why.

The young woman’s outfit was flashy and garish and yet there was something charming to the way she wore it. Perhaps it was her smile. She offered a bright one to the student helping her, genuine and sunny. Jun stared at the boy as the boy stared at her. His warm brown eyes were wide with surprise and it slowly shifted into realization. It was like he was suddenly nervous. Hesitantly, the boy handed over the stack of papers he had collected. Time ticked away and it passed as soon as the woman gratefully took the papers back.

Perhaps he was embarrassed or flustered by an older woman’s kind smile, but that boy was unable to look at her any longer. She stood, gratefully thanked him, and then they were both gone.

Slowly, Jun turned back to wait at the crosswalk. It was rude to stare, he berated himself, but he reasoned there had been no time to step in. There was a tug in his mind and as the light warned of the coming change, Jun turned back to look. At the station, by the edge of the plaza, he spotted the boy in a messy Seven Sisters uniform by chance. He stared down the street in the direction that woman had gone. Maybe Jun was looking for something that wasn’t there, making up a story that didn’t exist, but something crossed that boy’s mind as he looked away. It was by another chance that he happened to look at Jun. Something familiar stirred in Jun’s chest but he could not place it.

People at the crosswalk start to move as the light changed and Jun quickly looked to see. It had changed. He moved with the crowd, but glanced once more to the station. That boy was gone. Someone bumped into his shoulder. Jun hadn’t even noticed. That stirring had vanished as well, but something of a ghost of it lingered. He turned back to cross the street with the crowd. He ignored the twinge of heavy loneliness vying for his attention.

  

> Kasugayama High School

Still rubbing sleep from his eyes, Jun hurried into the school building. He was going to be late for class at this rate.

“Hey. Sempai!”

The past few nights had been filled with nothing but odd dreams and vaguely familiar emotions; like his head was submerged under water and the surface, while rippling and constantly in motion, was unbreachable. It wasn’t necessarily bad, these memories if he could call them that, but jolting awake at night with a blurry image of an unfamiliar boy that left his chest aching was becoming tedious.

“Sempai.”

Maybe this was what déjà vu felt like. It was not warm or welcoming but familiar in a way that made his head churn.

“Jun!”

The shoe locker slammed shut as Jun startled. With a steadying breath to regain himself, he smiled apologetically to the tall student. Eikichi leaned against the shoe lockers. He looked put upon as his arms crossed across his chest.

“I’m sorry, Michel,” Jun offered, voice small. The stare from those boldly painted eyes was hard but it hadn’t been accusatory. Eikichi just shrugged it off with a pompous smile.

“Don’t normally catch you in the mornings. Aren’t you normally one of the first here with your old man?” His tone was casual. An air of disinterest floated around him but it was easy to see through. Jun had gotten good at reading Eikichi. He was charming in a flashy, rambunctious way. Jun hesitated.

“That’s…” He wasn’t sure how to explain it or how much to even share. The delay had made it seem like an actual issue, however. Eikichi glanced his way at it, eyebrow quirking up. Jun sighed at it and tried to softly smile it off. The authenticity felt stilted, even Jun knew it, but the empty hole in his chest had started aching again. It was infuriating and he couldn’t figure out where it had come from.

He closed his shoe locker properly.

“I’ve been having strange dreams the past few days. They’re… not bad, per se, just…” Jun paused. Eikichi stared at him as his brows knit with concern and Jun partly wished he wouldn’t. “I guess the closest thing would be déjà vu. That’s what it feels like.”

“Huh…” Eikichi sat on that.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” Jun doubted Eikichi believed him. He always put up an insurmountable front, something that yelled defiance and dared someone to pick a fight. But Jun saw the concerned kindness in the way he stared. Lately, it had been growing harder to keep up the fake smiles.

Eikichi finally shrugged, putting more into it than was necessary. “Just don’t do anything stupid, Sempai.”

It was sobering. It shouldn’t have been. Jun knew what Eikichi was alluding to and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. There had been a raising number of empty seats in his class alone and it was becoming worrisome.

Jun tried not to think about it and decided to leave it at that.

They parted as classes were about to begin, and Jun couldn’t help but think about it. He stared at one of the empty seats just ahead of his desk, barely focusing on the lectures. The more he lingered on it, the more he noticed the subtle differences throughout the day. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t seen it sooner considering the rumors spreading like a virus through the school’s halls. One of his classmates was too eager to answer questions. No one questioned his newfound enthusiasm and only a handful seemed to even notice the raising absences. It had only been a few days. A week. Maybe a little more.

Jun quietly looked away from that boy’s eager and too wide smile and kept to himself the rest of the day.

 

> Hirasaka

It was Sunday. Jun couldn’t bring himself to notice what a beautiful day it was. More whispers of that rumor were floating around, and more people were going missing. The other day on the roof of their school while they ditched their respective PE classes, Eikichi had mentioned the number of empty seats growing in his own class. With the number of his own and the obliviousness of it all that hung over everyone like a fog, Jun was inclined to believe it.

He checked the time on his phone. It was well past lunchtime and he briefly entertained the thought of getting food, but he wasn’t sure he could stomach it. Jun stared at his phone and recalled the rumor that was always trailed by those missing students: when the world is cruel, when your heart can no longer carry the burden of grief and sadness, He can take it all away.

Jun shoved his phone into his pocket.

Simply hand happiness over to someone. If the pain was removed, then all that could be left would be satisfaction and contentment. In theory. Perhaps a little too theoretical but maybe the concept was something worth lingering on. For some, sadness was something that was inescapable. But offering an escape? Jun’s arms crossed over himself defensively. The thought lingered and weighed heavy on his heart. He knew people who must have begged for help. Was the inability to feel pain and sadness any better, though? A person couldn’t possibly learn like that, not emotionally.

He may not be in a position to judge.

Looking up, his eye caught sight of familiar warm-brown ones. Time froze and Jun halted. They connected, that boy from the station staring and he must have known something as panic dampened his handsome features.  Despite it, Jun swore something was trying to reach out to him and instinctively he reached out himself and clung to it like a long lost memory. But it slipped from his grasp as that boy ducked away into a nearby alley and the connection snapped. Whatever was holding time together was violently ripped apart and Jun staggered, fumbling to catch himself on a nearby brick wall. His heart beat painfully in his chest like rods had pierced it and his breath tangled in his lungs.

His hand clenched at his shirt as he tried to see through his stinging eyes. It had welled up so suddenly and so fast, everything fit to burst. Jun didn’t understand. It felt so sad and nostalgic as though at one point he had been intimately familiar with it. A shaky arm pushed himself back up as he blinked away the unshed tears that couldn’t possibly be his own. It passed and whatever came over him was gone. So was that boy. All that was left was a confused grief-stricken sense of loneliness.

A few people were staring at him from across the street. His hand still shook but composed himself enough to move again.

There was nothing particularly out of place as he looked back down the street. He swallowed down his racing hollow heart. Jun was certain déjà vu shouldn’t be so violent.

 

> Kasugayama; Roof

It hadn’t stopped.

From his spot tucked away behind the door to the roof, Jun could still hear the phys ed class yelling and running around the school’s track. Even if the idea of physical excursion with other students wasn’t a completely dreadful idea, he wasn’t up to even pretending. Being around other people was far too exhausting today, more than usual. His thumb rubbed against the front of his phone in his hand as he stared at it.

No matter how hard he tried, Jun couldn’t get that other boy out of his head. That small incident at the station the other week still played over and over in his head like it had happened just yesterday. Nothing about it was particularly strange yet it felt as though something didn’t want him to forget. He sighed and sank deeper into himself, sliding down the cold wall. It was a beautiful cloudless day, and he still felt something in his chest was missing. His fingered wrapped tighter around his phone.

Nothing happens by accident. There must be a reason for everything and yet Jun couldn’t understand why this burdened heart of his wouldn’t rest. He thought of that boy. There was something about him, as though the few times they crossed paths he was running away. The thought made Jun sad. He wanted to know what he could possibly be running from but it scared him to know as well.

Jun felt heavier than when he first came up to the roof. Static numbness creeped its way into his limbs, feeling leadened. He knew if he didn’t move then he would miss the rest of his classes. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing today. Other people were exhausting and he felt so heavy.

But there were people who knew this was the place he liked to hide when things got to be too much. Jun would much rather not speak with a teacher or his father about why he snuck off and ditched a class once again. With a troubled sigh, Jun raised his arm, a considerable effort against his leadened limbs, and pulled back his sleeve to check his watch for the time. He stilled.

“Ah…”

Jun stared at his bare wrist. Hesitantly, he pulled his hand away from his arm, though kept staring at his wrist. He had never worn or owned a watch before. His brows furrowed as he sat up.

Maybe claiming illness to go home early wasn’t such a bad idea. His stomach felt like it was about to bottom out.

 

> Kasugayama High School

An announcement was going around that the police were visiting the school to conduct an investigation involving the cases of the missing students. Each teacher had parroted the practiced speech about cooperating with authorities, to not feed them any misleading information and avoid spreading more rumors all day. Barely any of it stuck. Jun hadn’t planned to stick around long enough to even offer a simple “no comment” to any officer who may ask. As the last bell of the day rang, Jun methodically packed his notes and books away and quietly left. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, so he didn’t worry. As he headed toward the stairway to the roof, it was hard to feel much of anything but a bellowing guilt that weighed him down.

Perhaps it was the lack of good sleep the past week or so that were amplifying the hollow and foreign emotions. Still, they had grown so unbearable.

Jun recalled the rumor. If the burden was truly too much, He could take it away. Sadness wouldn’t hold domain and loneliness wouldn’t be so isolating. Jun thought he finally understood.

“Excuse me.”

It shook him from his thoughts. Before Jun could take the first step up the stairs, a young woman climbed the steps after him. He would have ignored her but he had caught sight of her from the corner of his eye. The woman’s face stilled him. She smiled welcomingly and Jun immediately recognized her as the same woman in front of the station. That same gaudy, charming outfit and that same warm aura. It put him at ease. He couldn’t explain it.

“Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions,” the woman started. Another woman, one Jun didn’t recognize to any capacity, climbed the stairs soon after. He carefully eyed her, yet despite the flashy red hair and somewhat intimidating front she put up, Jun felt as though he trusted her as well. He didn’t understand, and he tried not to seem impatient. “My name is Amano Maya and I’m a journalist for Coolest, with Kismet Publishing. I’m looking into the rumors surrounding the mysterious phenomena going around and the figure behind it: Joker. What have you heard about it?”

“Oh,” Jun’s voice got stuck in his throat. Her eyes were so kind and patient. Whatever sort of answer he could give, he felt as though it would be okay. She was hopeful but not expectant. It made him feel worse for wanting to leave. He thought of an excuse. “The police are here investigating the sick and missing students. Wouldn’t you rather ask them for input?” He was just deflecting but the woman considered it.

“Hm… I have heard rumors of the two being connected,” she mumbled to herself. She turned toward her companion. “You think it might really be true?” The red haired woman grimaced at the thought. It must be distressing.

“Eh… Maybe.” Something about her demeanor told Jun she couldn’t be with the reporter as someone from the agency, more a friend who was tagging along. She shrugged. “I mean, there is the other side of that rumor. You know, where if you don’t really have anything to grief over, he just leaves you empty of everything,” she said, almost spooked by her own words.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t explain the connection to the missing people.” The reporter, Maya, turned to Jun once again. He fidgeted where he stood. “By chance, did you happen to know any of the students who went missing? Were any of them acting strange or out of the ordinary before they vanished?”

Jun hesitantly shook his head. “No, I… I didn’t know them.” It was true enough. Maya nodded, understanding.

“That’s okay. Thank you for you time and suggestion. It was very helpful!” She smiled so genuinely before turning towards her friend. “Let’s go see if we can catch up with one of the police officers before they leave.” They turned to head back down the stairs, and Maya waved at Jun. “Ciao!”

It felt too friendly, but the weight hovering over his heart lessened. Jun reached for the handrail of the stairs. The rough bar was cold and grounding. They were both gone and Jun wanted nothing more than to be left to sort through these unfamiliar feelings once again.

His phone felt like an anchor in his pocket and he wasn’t completely convinced this guilty feeling was entirely his own. His steps up to the roof were quiet.

Carefully, Jun closed the metal door behind him. As soon as it clicked he exhaled. A chill lingered in the air and as he turned out towards the open space of the school’s roof, he looked up. It was cloudy today, the whole sky a flat dull gray. Jun stepped forward like strings were pulling at his limbs.

His father had noticed the dwindling enthusiasm in the work Jun produced. He had asked about it, but Jun had politely brushed it off. He didn’t have an idea of where to even start in explaining. Besides, as he pulled his phone from his pocket and stared down at the dial pad, Jun decided it wouldn’t matter.

Jun stilled. His thumb hovered over the first digit of his own phone number. This was a bad idea. The police were here at the school. Maybe no one had noticed where he had gone, and what if something happened? The phone softly beeped as he pushed the first few digits. Jun couldn’t feel himself move.

A hollow smile tugged at his mouth. There was a chance he was just being superficial. Jun’s eyes began to sting as his phone beeped a few more times. Feeling sad was a completely normal and natural part of being human. It would pass. He should let it sit. But, distantly, Jun heard a voice call out to him. It was one he did not recognize nor comprehend, as though distorted through a haze and behind a thick wall of glass. He stared down at his phone. All the digits to his own number were there. His breath hitched.

That boy entered his mind once again. He remembered those warm lonely eyes and it made Jun’s heart cold with forlorn longing. His phone felt so heavy in his hand and he wanted nothing more for it to stop.

It may not be so bad.

The door behind him squeaked open just as he heard the small sound of his dial tone. It shouldn’t have worked. Standing in the doorway was a man with red sunglasses and a striking resemblance to that familiar boy. At his side were the two women from earlier. Jun caught Maya’s perky smile just as the silence hit him. His phone had stopped ringing; no dial tone, just a white hum that crackled from the speaker. It swelled, the sound of hot static vibrating the air to a deafening volume. It burst behind him and regret instantly washed over Jun.

“Jun-kun!” Someone was yelling his name as he stumbled back. He couldn’t tell who. Maya ran forward, catching him before Jun could topple over as the others joined at his side. The other woman hovered over Maya but everyone’s eyes were staring out across the rooftop. A black figure stood in a scorched ring. A faint trail of smoke rose from the stranger’s feet. Jun felt so cold staring at him. “Are you okay?” Maya asked, voice heavy with concern. He only briefly thought of the connotations and how she could have possibly have known his name. He didn’t respond. Jun kept staring at the stark contrast of the dull gray sky and the figure’s long black gakuran.

It was that impressive mask that truly drew him. Those hollow black eyes, although empty, feel like they’re boring right into him. White cracks spilled down the mask’s face like jagged tears. But it was that painted smile, much to wide for a human face, that was the worst of it. It felt a mockery. Jun’s phone clattered to the ground, chipping against the cement.

“Joker,” Jun felt his lips form the word before he realized he had even spoken it. It felt heavy in his mouth like metal.  The wall of glass that he felt encased in the past few weeks felt like it was closing in on him, something desperately banging against it. It uselessly echoed.

The man with the red sunglasses stepped forward. Through the banging thunder in his own head, Jun managed to catch how the man’s hand hovered close to his hip. He must have been one of the police officers visiting to investigate the missing students. Maya’s hand rested on Jun’s shoulder and the way it squeezed was more grounding than he could explain.

“Are you the one responsible for all the missing people and the mass kidnappings around the city?” the man asks with the accusatory tone of authority. The masked figure, Joker, turned his head away as his shoulders drop in exasperation. He looked back soon enough but pointedly ignored the question. That mask had no proper eyes but that gaze was still heavy as it fell on Jun once again. It felt like a twisted mirror and his frame shook with frustration.

The officer stepped forward once again. He carefully placed himself just in front of Jun and the others.

“I’m going to ask one more time,” he said, a bite of impatience in his voice, “All these cases of people going missing, falling ill, suddenly acting strange: all of the testimonies and reports align a little too well. Are you the one responsible?”

“Why did it have to be you?” Joker’s voice was distorted like missing memories, almost echoing through the air. “You should be happy.” The air pulsated, everyone wincing against the muted surge. The officer quickly drew his gun. The glass cracked, a hollow sound in Jun’s ears. Joker stared down the officer and the gun pointed his way. He was unamused or disinterested. Light erupted from the ground around Joker’s feet in a blinding burst. A gangly creature rose above him. Its limbs dangled at the side of its already sickly thin body, misshapen and deformed as they stretch down. Something akin to silver thorns wrapped up its forearms, reaching even its shoulders and neck. Its face, similar to the mask that Joker wore, was literally split by its smile.

Jun’s head pounded at the sight. It felt so agonized.

“Wh-What the hell is that?” the red-headed woman stumbled back, face contorting in fear and disgust.

The creature jerked, a spasm running down its entire deformed body before it lunged forward with a piercing screech. Its hands, with fingers elongated like claws, scraped against the cement along the path it flew toward them. Jun’s body moved before he thought on it, shaking off Maya’s hands as the sound of shattering glass twinkled around him. He ran. These people were going to be hurt because of him and he ran faster, propelled by a tailwind.

The creature’s dead eyes flared to life as it raised a clawed hand high over its head. It swiped down violently and the sound of metal clashing rung out. A golden figure hovered just underneath the seething monster, a spiraling staff taking the blow. The wind picked up violently and Jun felt its name on his lips like a long lost friend.

“Hermes.”

The creature recoiled with a loud screech, stalled by Joker’s own hesitation. He was staring at the golden figure as though its very existence was impossible. Jun doesn’t doubt that. It felt impossible. That black mask was unreadable but Joker quickly turned away as his creature spasmed once again. Both its gangly arms raised high over its head and slammed its hands down as a dark surge crashed over the roof like a giant wave, roaring like a wildfire.

Jun didn’t remember what exactly happened before his vision went black.

It felt like he was falling, adrift in the midst of his own dreams. Jun tried to open his eyes. He thought he opened them but memories flashed by so fast. Bright bursts of moments he wasn’t familiar with. None of them truly stuck. As they fell past, their impression was still left on his heart, a new piece of himself he didn’t know.

When he regained himself, feeling cool, hard tile underneath him, Jun realized he didn’t know what happened. Music, or something faint that maybe resembled music, flitted through the thick air. Jun pushed himself to sit up on the black and white tiles and looked around the circle podium, eyes tracing the tall pillars that stretched up to a domed ceiling. He immediately recognized the constellation of Pleiades adorning the stained glass.

There was a stirring and Jun quickly looked back down to find the others sprawled out across the tiled floor as well. Across from him, past where the black and white pattern broke to encircle an intricate mosaic butterfly, Maya wearily pushed herself to her feet. She was just as confused as he was though looked astonishingly relieved when their eyes met. He pushed himself up as well as Maya hurried over to her friend and helped the other woman wake up and stand.

A faint golden glimmer shined over the center of the landing like flecks of dust trailing behind a butterfly. It was then Jun saw the familiar shape take form, and a weak far off voice tried to reach out.

“My name… is Philemon… I… exist between consciousness and death… The one… who had granted you… the Personas.” The vague shape of a man disintegrated in that warm glow, a small flapping butterfly the only evidence anything had existed in that space once. His voice grew even weaker the more he spoke, desperately trying to cling to whatever consciousness he could. Jun couldn't help but think that he sounded perhaps scared. “I have something… to ask of… you… I underestimated… the… your… string of misfortune was too deep. You… made… tears of blood… ‘This Side’… Only you… can save…” the voice faded out. What was once a warm glow was now just a dull ember as the glimmer faded.

The police officer stepped forward, a careful eye on what was left of the butterfly’s shape.

“What’s wrong? I can’t understand you.”

“Warning… rumors will become reality… light… within hearts… of people…” The voice vanished. Whatever was holding the group in that small pocket of reprieve dissolved as well. Everything faded once again, heavy in a numb, consuming way.

When his Jun’s eyes opened once again, looking up at the gray sky overhead as he laid on the roof of the school, he latched onto the stirring in his chest. A warm and familiar sensation that seeped into his limbs like that of a caring friend he should remember.

“Persona…” he echoed the word silently to himself.

 

> Aerospace Museum

His lungs burned from the smoke and Jun could still hear that shrill voice yelling out, taunting them all. They had been thorough. Every single exhibit room had been searched before they fled. The museum was empty save for them. It had to be. Those jeers and taunts still bounced around Jun’s head as he reassured himself they had gotten all of the children to safety. They had to.

Rushing up the stairs, the group burst through the door to the roof. Jun gasped for fresh air and realized the way had lead them all to the openair cafe, just outside of the historical blimp that had been constructed into the museum itself. It only just then hit him what an imposing site it was and how fast it would ignite if the fire reached it. Jun bit down that concern.

Ulala rushed forward, pacing the length of the small plaza. Her hands clenched and flexed anxiously in front of her.

“What are we supposed to do now? He’s got the whole place rigged to blow any second!” Raising smoke was creeping up from the side of the building, growing as flecks of burning embers floated around them. It wouldn’t be long before the entire roof was engulfed in it, Jun thought. Who knew how many other bombs had been planted and armed. Maya rushed over to her, trying to still Ulala’s wringing hands.

“We’re going to be alright, Ulala. Just stay focused for me, okay?”

“Look, I hate to break this up,” Baofu butted in, impatience souring his tone, “but we need to keep moving.”

Jun couldn’t help the guilt welling up. He wished they hadn’t took such a risk to investigate the suspect letter Maya had received when they had made a quick stop at Kismet. There had been no name, no description of who had dropped it off, only the cryptic message to come to the museum to “meet a friend”. The fact Katsuya’s own investigation had lead to the same location was too convenient. They had all seen the red flags and readily acknowledged them. They had no other next step however. Jun couldn’t swallow the fact that he had put all those children and the museum employees in such danger all because he brought these people together.

Maya caught his eye. As she held Ulala’s hands, Maya looked to him with a determined understanding that said otherwise. Jun tried to focus on that. Off in the distance, distorted by the building and the crackling of the fire, sirens rung and alarms blared. This was going to happen. Jun reminded himself if they had not come, those children more than likely would not have made it out.

Despite her airy and bright personality, Maya was very grounding. Jun trusted her.

The roof rumbled and behind them part of the wall they had just left from collapsed from a small explosion. A crack split the floor, racing across the entire length of the plaza underneath them.

“Starting to recall the Other Side?” It was that voice again, calling out through the smoke as the wind whipped it across the roof. “It’s just like it. You remember, don’t you?” As the smoke cleared, Jun briefly saw the man’s eyes. Jun couldn’t place why—he hadn’t wanted to—but that intensity in them was familiar. It made him panic more than it should have. Sudou held up a small black box and when Jun saw that wide, wicked smile, he realized too late what it was. Sudou pressed a button on the detonator and an explosion shook the entire building just below them.

The ground fell out from underneath him and it was like his stomach dropped out as well. Hands grabbed at him, pulling at his sleeve and collar as the chasm crumbled open, exposing the burning innards of the museum. Jun clung to Ulala’s arms as he dangled from the crumbling edge.

“It’s okay, Jun. Just hang on!” He could barely hear her through the collapse of the building and his own heart pounding in his ears.

“Ms. Amano!”

Thick smoke rose from the chasm like a huge chimney. Only in the gusts of wind would it clear. With a guttural heave, Ulala pulled Jun up, her foot slipping on rubble as his hands scraped against the ground for purchase. Ulala dragged them both away from the hole before finally turning toward where Katsuya’s voice had come from. Neither of them breathed as they spot the silhouette of the man who lured them all here in the first place. A glint of metal shined in the light as he held a blade to Maya’s neck. She immediately stopped clawing at the arm around her.

“Let Ms. Amano go,” Katsuya’s voice was deceivingly calm as he kept his gun carefully aimed their way. Jun noted his finger was off the trigger. Sudou didn’t even regard the bluff, only growing more agitated as the seconds passed. Maya kept her hands carefully at her sides.

“I know… that this sound, this color, this heat is the way it’s supposed to be!” Sudou spat out. The blade pressed deeper into the meat of Maya’s neck as he yanked her to the side, dragging her toward the chasm. “I don’t care if the Grand Cross passed.” Maya struggled to stay on her feet and keep the pressure off her neck as Sudou kept advancing. “I’ll kill, burn, and destroy everything. To hell with this fake world! If you don’t understand what I’m saying, I’ll make you go through the same shit again.” Violently twisting Maya around, Sudou stood just over her as he dangled her over the edge of the chasm.

“What is wrong with you!?” Maya struggled against him, trying to pry herself away from the edge. Sudou held tight.

“Don’t you remember this scene?” His voice grew desperate, a crazed smile pulling at his stressed face as he forced Maya to look down at the inferno just below. That smile slowly shifted to a sneer and Jun had to desperately fight down the urge to run over to her. At his side everyone else felt the same. “C’mon. Remember…!”

Ulala carefully pulled Jun to his feet as she kept her eyes on Maya. Distress weighed heavy as she bit her lip too hard. At his shoulder, Jun could feel the tight tension in her fist. She wanted to race over there, Jun could imagine how badly she wanted to punch that desperate man for hurting Maya. He was relieved she at least at the mind to fight it down. Sudou, growing more and more agitated at his failing attempts to jar whatever sort of memories laid deep within Maya, suddenly yelled out in frustration, jerking the blade away from Maya’s neck. For a terrifying second, Jun had expected to see blood fly. But the blade was clean as Sudou pointed it toward them. His hollow and intense eyes stared right at Jun.

“And _you_ !” He screeched, “Why isn’t it you!? You’re the worthy one! Guide us like you did on the Other Side…” Something unfamiliar shifted in the smoke. Hermes stirred in Jun’s heart, restless and desperate to help, but Jun kept still. This man was completely mad, yelling hysterics, but Jun let him if it meant he was no longer focused on Maya. Whatever this man thought or believed, the implications of his words were troubling. If it hadn’t been Maya, if Sudou hadn’t gotten to her, would it have been Jun? It was a chilling thought but a part of him would have prefered that outcome if it meant keeping that man’s hands off Maya. The blade slashed down desperately as Sudou’s eyes grew more crazed and desperate. “I won’t mess up like the ‘other me’… Lead us— _hrk!_ ”

Sudou lurched forward as Maya’s elbow jabbed into his stomach. She wrenched herself out of his grasp as he stumbled forward. As he righted himself and started to yell in rage, a burst of light blinded him as Maia raced forward, ice trailing behind it in a jagged trail. A cold fist connected with his face and slammed him into the ground near the edge of the chasm. More of the roof cracked and broke off, falling down into the fire below. Something crashed and a new cloud of black smoke erupted.

Maya ran for them and Ulala was the one to meet her first, her wrapped hands frantically checking over Maya and her neck. Maya just smiled reassuringly though Jun could see it had shaken her. But she still smiled.

“I’m alright, Ulala,” Maya reassured. Ulala eventually returned it but worry marred it too quickly.

The roar of the fire and the building crumbling around them was deafening. The winds changed, whipping the smoke around and obscuring the whole rooftop. Getting Maya back safely was a relief, but Katsuya had yet to lower his gun and Jun did not trust Sudou to stay down long.

A silhouette formed in the smoke. It swirled and Jun realized it was no longer just Sudou. As the air cleared, the black figure of Joker stood over Sudou as the man scraped himself back up from the debris littered ground. When Sudou looked up a twisted mix of elation and fear stretched his face. Joker stood silently, staring down at the other. As Jun watched the two, something weighed his heart down. Hermes was on guard, ready to defend. Yet it called out, reached out for something just out of their grasp. All Jun heard were the faint sounds of whimpered cries if he focused hard enough on them. It just made his heart ache more. It was familiar and disconcerting how it left him upset.

“Help me,” Sudou begged frantically, dragging his knees across the tattered ground and grabbing at Joker’s long black gakuran jacket. Joker didn’t respond. It spurred Sudou’s frustrated anger, igniting like flint. “Help me!” he screamed, “Make them see the truth and bring the Other Side here again! Isn’t that what we want!?” Sudou kept pawing at Joker, rough hands turning white at the knuckles as he tugged on the jacket more. Joker made no move to even acknowledge the desperate pleas.

Katsuya slowly lowered his gun, though had yet to holster it.

“What’s he going on about?” Baofu asked the thick atmosphere. It didn’t settle and left a seed of doubt that gnawed at the back of Jun’s mind. The hospital room, splattered and scrawled all over the walls, came back to his mind and it came together. Despite the heat, a sharp chill ran down Jun’s spine.

Realization melted Sudou’s face. Joker was not here to assist him. As anger burned it away, Sudou shoved Joker away, who only took a step back, completely unphased otherwise.

“Why? Why you of all people?” Sudou shoved himself to his feet and scrambled for his discarded blade. It scrapped against the ground as he pulled it up. “Isn’t this what they want!?” Sudou lunged forward, sword held high, and a spur of panic rushed through Jun so suddenly he hadn’t realized he ran forward.

A black hand met the sword’s edge and everything stilled. Joker’s fingers wrapped around the blade as though it wasn’t buried in the meat of his palm. Sudou just watched, confused fear deep set in his eyes as fire burned just behind Joker, his Persona emerging from the ashes. It stared down at the man with its empty eyes as Joker yanked the sword out of Sudou’s hands in the man’s hesitation. It clattered and skid across the roof, disappearing into the black smoke.

As Jun stood frozen in the middle of the plaza, breath caught in his throat from the thin air and thick smoke, he thought maybe he was seeing things. Joker’s Persona looked different. It was subtle, still long and spindly, but its body looked like it had started to become swollen. Deep in his heart, Hermes cried out from the crushing feeling of burdened loneliness that Persona gave off. A name was suddenly on the tip of Jun’s tongue.

Sudou was left standing open, staring up at that splitting smile as Joker’s Persona loomed over them. Another section of the museum crumbled and in the roar of the collapse, and as Sudou looked to crumble himself, a fire sparked and the man was in flames. He screamed and flailed back, only for his footing to slip and Sudou plummeted into the chasm. The screams were drowned out by fire and something else, something primal, screeching. It was painfully piercing and as Jun flinched against the grate against his ears, he realized he was the only one to hear it. Hermes was restless.

The Persona above Joker spasmed before it dissipated. Joker looked down into the chasm only briefly before he turned away. That black mask looked their way and those empty eyes jolted Jun out of his distressed shock. Jun did not want to fight but the others all ready themselves. He hesitated though felt Hermes eager to defend and desperate to reach out.

But Joker did not advance, only stood silently amongst the growing smoke and stared. Jun could hear Ulala shift uncomfortably behind him but Jun was too fixated on the stoic way Joker stared. The silence from him felt the same as Before. Jun realized he wasn’t sure what he meant by that. That name was once again on the tip of his tongue, but they need to leave before the entire building collapsed in on itself. Once they were all safe Jun could meditate on the bizarre thought.

Joker finally moved, raising an arm to point across the plaza.

“The blimp.” Something about his voice was less distorted than the last time he spoke. It sounded so dejected. “It flies. If you believe the rumors.”

No one moved, hesitant to take advice from such a figure. Baofu and Katsuya both make a sound of distrust. Jun found himself taking a step toward Joker and only just caught the sound of Maya and Ulala start to protest. But Joker immediate stepped back at Jun’s advance. The ground glowed around Joker’s feet as though he would vanish at any time. With such a mask that he wore, Jun wasn’t sure how but he felt it. Joker looked so sad.

“Wait. Tatsuya.”

The name spilled from his mouth before Jun could truly think on it. It just felt right. The way Joker froze said he may be onto something. Jun’s chest suddenly overflowed with anxious guilt and panic as Joker stared at him. It was like static in his head as the feeling swelled and then Joker vanished in a bright burst. Jun almost staggered. The echoes of a wretched cry ring out in the cotton static of Jun’s head. It was a cry only for him to hear and Hermes settled down solemnly.

 

> Parabellum 

The informant they heard about should be arriving soon. She was their best lead they had gotten in a long time. Jun waited outside on the sidestreet, feeling somewhat uncomfortable about lingering inside the bar they had all agreed to meet at. His hand absently fidgeted with his left wrist. His discomfort was not from the adult atmosphere but simply wishing for a bit of breathing room.

Maya joined him as the others filed inside the bar. The two stood across the walkway in front of a small bridal shop window, and Jun couldn’t say he disliked the company. There was something reassuring about her and Jun found himself more and more warming up to the woman. The display window was lit with a showcase of a beautiful dress and other delicate accessories. Jun stared down at it all. His heart beat heavily in his chest. It was frustrating not knowing why. His brows furrowed and the grip on his wrist tightened.

Jun was grateful Maya decided to stay by his side. However, there was something to how she side-eyed him that suggested she was curious about a thought. He fidgeted with his wrist more.

“You’ve been really dedicated about finding out what’s going on with Joker,” Maya nonchalantly commented. It was certainly one way to put it. Jun did not pull his eyes away from the display window.

“It’s my fault so many of you are so involved in all this like you are,” Jun answered plainly. It was gentle but he left no room for argument. When he finally looked up, he met Maya’s eyes with a determined and soft acceptance nestled solidly in his eyes. “This is my responsibility. And although I do not have the right to ask you all to keep helping me, I appreciate you all staying.”

“Jun-kun…” Sympathy weighed down Maya’s face. It wasn’t what Jun wanted to hear but he kept that to himself. He turned back to the white display. “I want know what’s going on just as much as you do. And I’m sure Katsuya and the others feel just the same.” She leaned back against the brickwall of the store building and looked up at the evening sky. “I’m sure we’d all still be looking in our own ways no matter what had happened back there.”

It was a kind thing to offer. Jun couldn’t bring himself to completely believe it. If it hadn’t been for his moment of selfishness, they may not have been put through so much trouble. Still, Jun offered a small accepting smile.

“Do you really think it’s him?”

The question surprised Jun. When he looked up, Maya was deep in thought. Jun realized who she meant.

“‘Tatsuya’…” He said name as though trying it out, like it was foreign on his tongue. It felt like he had been saying it a lifetime. If he guessed correctly, he must have only met that boy a handful of times, each just a fleet crossing. Yet each time Jun’s heart ached. He looked so lonely. “I don’t know,” Jun finally admitted, “But… something tells me it’s true.” His hand pressed to his chest just under the yellow flower in his breast pocket. Hermes stirred as though it knew something that was just out of Jun’s grasp. Jun felt blind.

Maya sat on the answer. She finally nodded decisively, resolute about whatever she had come to.

“Then you’re probably right.” Simply believing in a gut feeling seemed like a dangerous way to go about it but Jun recalled Joker’s reaction to being called that name. Perhaps it wasn’t so baseless. Whether it was that connection or simply Maya’s confidant resolve, Jun’s own solidified. “If that’s the case, then we need to help him out.” Jun smiled as she eagerly voiced his thoughts. She was so easy to get along with. He believed her.

They both fell quiet and it was comfortable. Jun couldn’t help but think that Maya reminded him of a big sister. It was a familiar thought and yet it made him sad with nostalgia. It felt incomplete.

“You know, there’s something similar between you two.”

“Hm?” It was such an impromptu statement to make. Maya thought on her own words as she kept looking up to the reddening sky.

“It’s like light and shadow.”

Similar to Tatsuya. Another half of a whole. It wasn’t a displeasing thought but Jun didn’t know what to make of it. He looked away, face feeling warm. He heard Maya chuckle at his side.

“‘Oh, you doppelganger. You pale companion,’” Maya recited playfully. She was teasing but Jun quieted.

“…‘Why do you mimic my love sickness?’” he mouthed.

Maya brightened even more. “Oh! You know the poem!”

Jun kept staring down into the display window. No, he didn’t know the poem. Or, he hadn’t thought he knew it. He suddenly recalled the whole thing and it resonated deeply within his heart. He couldn’t deny that part. His hand reached out to touch the glass, hesitating just above it as though the glass would shatter. Fingers press against the cold glass and it remained intact. This place was suddenly important, like a child may have found it sacred and safe.

An engraved lighter was in his pocket. Years ago, his father had gifted it to him and he considered it the most important thing to himself. It was very dear and as he pulled it from his pocket and stared down at the engraving, it felt wrong to own. It should not belong to him. Jun kept staring at it.

“Maya,” he started weakly. His voice strained with an emotion he couldn’t place and felt had no reason to linger in his heart so heavily. He clung to it desperately. “I feel… as though I’ve lost something incredibly dear to me.”

 

> Sumaru TV; Dressing Room

His mother’s smile looked fragile, like that of a delicate painting. Jun couldn’t explain it and he found his voice lost at the realization. Junko greeted them courteously despite the group’s sudden intrusion. Jun should have tried to inform her of their investigation and visit, but in their rush to make it to the recording of the interview with the supposed Wang Long expert, he didn’t have the time. There was a sharpness in Junko’s eyes as she looked over the group. Jun must have imagined it.

“Did you get lost? Perhaps I could have security help escort you around.” It sounded so needlessly cruel coming from such perfectly painted lips. Maya just smiled and Jun assured himself he was in fact imagining it. They were all stressed and on a time limit. Junko has always been such a caring and patient mother. He let himself be known.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Mama.” He smiled as he peeked around from behind Maya. “We were just passing through. You’ll be a part of the special with the fortune teller, correct?”

“Oh!” Junko’s face softened at seeing her son. She must not have seen him enter with the rest of the large group. That would explain the cold hostility. Jun paused. That was a harsh way to think of it. He’s not sure why he did. “I wasn’t aware you would be visiting today.” Junko said. Her smile was kind. It left Jun’s heart unsettled.

Jun smiled at his mother.

 

> Sumaru TV; Studio 1

It was a mad rush through the entire building once they had heard the news of the commotions coming from Studio 1. Staff were scrambling to get things back under control, to keep those not involved away from the area. Jun had been too blinded by panic to heed any of the warnings once they had all heard who was the on on the rampage.

Junko’s smile in that wrecked studio made Jun’s stomach drop. Just behind her was that familiar black figure, and the implications were unpleasant. Joker looked like he was refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. The wicked smile on Jun’s mother’s face widened even more, bright red lips splitting her normally immaculate face.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Jun heard Chizuru’s order but it never registered. His mother just laughed sickeningly sweet, porcelain face drained to a sickly white, as she approached. Jun couldn’t see her eyes. Milky white or maybe even missing entirely for all his spinning head and pounding heart was telling him. Dark pillars rose from the floor, phantom-like with their demonic silhouette. Demons Chizuru summoned blocked the path of the others as Jun could hear their cautionary yells. Chuckles that pop like bubbles consumed Junko like she had found it all to be so charming.

A cold and dark feeling washed over Jun as he finally caught Joker’s empty eyes on him. A hollow emptiness blindsided him. It choked his heart and he barely felt his mother’s hands on him. Sharp manicured nails dig into his arms like when he was a child and Jun was thrown across the studio floor.

That wasn’t right.

Jun knew better than to be so distracted and caught up in his own thoughts but everything felt so different. Junko loomed over him, a dark and deranged snicker bubbling up from her chest and it was like looking at her through glass. Jun couldn’t understand why it had to be her. Was it purely circumstance; Chizuru needing a puppet to manipulate to get her point across? Or, more distressingly, at some point Junko had felt desperate. She believed the rumors enough to risk it. Junko started to lean down, smiling at her son with cold attention. She had always been a kind and gentle mother. Hadn’t she?

That doubt was cold. Things have been strange lately but what did his mother have to do with any of this? And Joker had deemed her unhappiness too self-centered, too egotistical to warrant release.

Scrambling to his feet, Jun kept a distance between himself and Junko. He risked a glance and caught sight of the others. Chizuru had everyone surrounded with the demons she had summoned; Ulala and Maya hover over a young blonde girl Jun stared at for a second too long. Looking back to Junko, an old spark of anger flickered deep inside of chest; deeper than even Hermes could reach. It felt like the museum all over again. Something was just out of his reach, or something was trying to reach out to him and it felt like the world wanted him to be consumed by these unfamiliar emotions. Jun stared at the smiling face of his mother. It made him feel sick but it wasn’t the distorted mouth. His hand extended out in front of him as a warning.

Victims could be helped. They could get her back to her senses. It settled the hesitation. Somewhere, away from all the fighting, Jun knew Joker was watching. Just hanging in his peripheral but always out of sight. His mother was undaunted by his caution and a shrill laugh trailed her as she charged. Hermes burst forward and with the solid resolve in his heart, a blast of sharp wind sent her skidding backwards. Bracing against it, that wicked smile slipped only a moment, twisting to a cruel snarl.

A memory of her, like a fading dream in a groggy early morning, hit Jun. She had such cold eyes. Her smiles were always so pristine and fake in front of everyone; she never bothered to keep it up at home. And home had never felt like home. It had always been so dreadfully quiet when its cold halls weren’t full of yelling and fighting. His arms ached from the rough tugging on his tiny hand.

So caught up in the confusing and misplaced flashback, Jun missed the puppet of his mother rushing back in. Anger boiled inside of him. It burned and he wanted to claw and tear at his own skin to get the sickeningly familiar sensation to leave him be. It felt like it had soaked into his bones years ago; he fought his own body from doubling over  as he shook.

A glint in the light caught his eye, and his hand shot up to catch his mother’s as she swiped down with sharp nails. What little was left of her face lost to that sickly white, spurred a deep rooted disdain that boiled over. With a broken cry, Jun threw his mother’s arm away from him. A violent tremor ran up Hermes’ whole body as a cold putrid chill ran up Jun’s spine before its hand took hold and wind whipped as she was thrown across the ruined studio. All Jun could see was hot white, a small pillar of red blooming, and his mother yelled out in pain when she hit the ground.

It was like a waterfall striking him suddenly. None of those things had happened. His hands pressed to his mouth, fingers digging into his face as he stared with panicked eyes at the motionless body of his mother. She had never yelled at him or dragged him around like an animal on a leash to be flaunted and displayed or made him feel like he had to beg her to even look at him. The whiplash of memories and impressions tasted foul in his mouth, his stomach churning against the mix of dread and uncertainty. Jun’s steps were shaky as he approached where his mother laid. She was motionless save the subtle rise of her chest. He could finally breathe again. His fingers fall and dig into the fabric of his gakuran jacket over his heart, knuckles turning white.

They would be able to help her, Jun tried to reason with himself. It did little to calm him down.

Joker was still watching him. Jun risked a look and Joker stood motionless by a wall. His shoulders looked stiff, his hands tight fists at his sides. With his lack of involvement in  either fight and his intervention at the museum, Jun wasn’t sure where exactly Joker’s loyalties laid. But those blank, black eyes of that mask stare with an intense scrutiny that Jun could feel. It was like Joker had seen the rush of memories Jun just had. He didn’t know if he was scared of that or not. He fought down the urge to approach.

For whatever reason, Jun felt like he trusted Tatsuya. Hermes was yearning and Jun couldn’t place exactly for what, but there was a pain he wanted to soothe. All Jun could feel from that hard stare from behind that mask was a bitter isolation, however. It must be misplaced, Jun felt, but too many pieces were missing.

“You need to stop,” Joker finally said. Jun’s eyes widened at the gentle voice, just barely distorted by whatever twisted force was playing with him. “You have more than enough.” Joker’s hands motioned towards the others. Maya fired a gun into the skull of one of the phantoms. It dissipated with a curdling shriek in its own thick black mist as Baofu and Katsuya surround a defenseless Chizuru. Ulala held the panicking blonde girl Jun felt he had seen before outside of the idol group announcement. “Be happy with that,” Joker sighed, heavy with disappointment and bitter resignment. His arm fell to his side.

Jun didn’t know how to reply. He can’t piece things together, but Tatsuya was clearly in pain. Jun couldn’t let this sit. He didn’t want him to hurt any longer.

“Tatsuya,” Jun carefully spoke. He wanted to reach out. Joker tensed and went rigid at the name. Jun thought he might shatter.

“Tatsuya!” Maya cried out as she raced toward them. Jun felt Hermes recoil at the drowning grief that surrounded Joker. It was ugly jealousy, and it was bitter and cold. Maya stopped beside Jun, head held high and she pleaded, “Please! Just tell us why you’re doing this!”

The air filled with hot static and Joker pointedly looked away from them.

“No.” Joker was gone once again.

 

> Nichirinmaru Deck

The salty air bit and nipped against Jun’s skin as the wind whipped across the flat deck of the ship. The stars called for him and he wished under different circumstances he could have enjoyed the sight of the night sky out at sea. Katsuya and Baofu both cursed at his side as Tatsuzou managed to escape once again behind the line of war machines. Hydraulics hissed as the machines readied themselves. But Jun kept his eyes locked on Joker, standing just behind the X-1s. Joker did not look at any of them; perhaps he couldn’t bring himself to. It was a regrettable outcome.

Jun’s face grimaced with pain and reluctance. A stirring in his heart that had become all too familiar by now brought his attention to Joker’s jagged stance. He was so stiff, his hands clenched tight at his sides, like he was in conflict with himself. Jun could almost hear the dark resentment that was screaming out. Whatever it was that twisted Tatsuya’s heart, Jun couldn’t bear the thought of it.

“Tell them to stand down, Tatsuya!” Katsuya yelled across the deck. Joker didn’t acknowledge the demand and the machines whirred louder. They completely disregarded Katsuya and Maya’s guns pointed their way.

Baofu scoffed lowly, “Don’t think reason’s really gonna take, Suou.” Katsuya scowled.

An arm of each of the three machines rose and pointed their way as something clicked. A quick prayer slipped past Jun’s lips as he reached out for Hermes to keep everyone safe. Deafening gunfire scattered the entire group, the X-1s in quick pursuit. One barreled Jun’s way, smoke trailing behind it from the gun of its arm in the ceasefire, and Hermes cut it off. Metal smashed into metal. A deep ache shot through Jun’s chest from the repercussions of such a heavy mass being slammed a sudden halt. With a sharp burst of wind, the X-1 was shoved back, skidding across the ship deck.

Its limbs dug in and scraped against the the ship deck as the X-1 stopped and righted itself, recalibrating its balance. Hermes remained at Jun’s side and it was a conscious effort not to look away from the machine. The others would be able to handle themselves, he reassured himself. It was four against two. With a loud whirring the X-1 charged his away again. Its arm whipped forward with bursts of gunfire. A barrage of bullets struck Hermes, sparks flying past, and Jun bit down the prickling pain of it as he hid under the cover of his Persona. All he needed to do was hold out long enough to keep the pressure off the others.

The machine relented, its arm snapping as it reloaded its clip, and Jun quickly ducked out from behind Hermes. His eyes locked on a gap in the machine’s hip, and he threw a flower. The stem lodged in the socket, disrupting the movement just enough to stagger the X-1’s trajectory. It careened their way and Hermes dragged Jun out of its path. As Hermes gently puts Jun back down on his feet, they watched the machine crash into the wall of the ship. The metal of the wall molded around its shape.

The X-1 uselessly tried to pry itself out and Jun risked a glance out across the deck, desperately searching for the others. With a gleam of a blade, Odysseus had impaled one of the X-1s on both its swords, heaving it upward off the deck. With a crack, a whip snapped around the head. Callisto pulled on it and metal groaned before wires and pistons snapped. The head was ripped from the body, and with a violent twist, flung toward the third machine.

Metal groaned and screeched as Jun’s X-1 finally managed to unlodge itself, a jagged hole ripped across from where it forcefully ripped its arm from. Its movements were choppy, tremors wrecking its body as it tried to stand; a joint or two were possibly too damaged in the collision to function properly anymore. With a forceful snap, it raised its gun once again.

An explosion rocked the ship, followed by the sound of metal scrap scattering across the deck. A hot gust of wind blew past, but Jun wouldn’t pull his eyes away from the barrel of that gun. Just a little longer. He could hold out for just a little longer. His hand raised up and pressed against the cold metal back of Hermes as it remained the only thing standing between them like a shield.

Jun’s fingers fidgeted with the sturdy stem of another flower. He almost cut himself on a thorn as he held his breath, both parties waiting for the other to make a move. As his eyes dart around the machine’s form, he finally saw it. That specific gleam of glass in its head as light finally caught it in the light. His hand pushed harder against his Persona’s back as he took a deep steadying breath. If he could hit it, he could possibly disrupt or disable the visual sensors. It wouldn’t be much but a small advantage was still an advantage. He ducked low and sprinted forward, Hermes staying just a step ahead.

Gunfire immediately followed him, small explosions trailing after his steps as the X-1 struggled to compensate for its lagging arm. A cool wind kept him moving and when the gunfire paused as the clip reloaded, Jun took the chance. The flower shot through the air, striking the head and it jerked back. Hermes readied to dart forward, having an opportunity to do more than just disrupt the machine’s sensors.

A black blur at his side tripped Jun. Before he slammed into the ground, a ghastly maw screamed in his face and something solid slammed into his gut. Jun was thrown across the deck, skidding to a stop near the edge of platform.

Distantly, voices cried out but his head spun, reeling as his hands scraped against the rough ground and clung to his own chest. It felt as though his ribs had collapsed in on themselves, his lungs seizing up. Jun coughed as he fought to catch even one breath. As he pushed himself up on shaky arms, Hermes frantically buzzed in his head. Jun, through his dizzy sight, quickly looked up and saw the creature stare him down. Joker’s Persona pulsated, and Jun noticed how sickeningly different it looked. He hadn’t been seeing things; Its jaw looked broken, hanging too low, creating a terrible visage that was split into a perpetual scream. It could be the ringing from the impact but Jun could practically hear it. But it was the bulbous swollen body that made him sick. A foul black sludge-like liquid dripped from seams that were literally fit to burst.

Jun watched it approach, coughing once as his chest spasms again, though fought it down. Deep down, he could feel Hermes’ conflicted emotions amplified and pushed past the protests his body made as he dragged himself to stand. He sharply stared down the corrupted Persona. Whoever that thing used to be, it had been reduced to nothing but torment. It felt so sad. He stumbled once, his ribs burning under his skin, but Jun stood tall against those glowing red eyes.

The Persona lurched forward over itself, shaking from the tremors that plagued its malformed body. A bright hot burst of light blinded Jun momentarily, though he did not flinch even as Joker towered over him, staring him down. He was so close. Jun didn’t pull his eyes away from those black empty eyes of that mask. It smiled, painfully wide with those jagged tears. Jun wanted to reach up and remove it. He stood still, eyes unflinching.

“Why are you doing this?” Joker asked. Jun noted how quiet and exasperated it was. He didn’t need to think of his answer.

“We’re going to save you.”

An echo of a laugh or a sob slipped from Joker. Jun wasn’t sure. The mutated Persona erupted from behind Joker, looming over the both of them as it stared down at Jun with that broken smile and faint hiss that leaked from its broken maw. Hermes met that challenging gaze from behind Jun, unflinching.

“Don’t act like you care.”

That threw Jun off kilter.

“Not after you left me with all the responsibility.”

Jun faltered, breath caught in his lungs all over again.

“You’re not a knight in shining armor. You’re the reason this happened,” Joker breathed. There was such agony in his soft voice. Jun couldn’t understand. Hermes hesitated at Jun’s own faltering resolve and Joker’s Persona pressed into its face at the lowered guard. That low perpetual hiss grew louder and that split jaw widened, a row of sharp jagged teeth glistened in the spotlights. It loomed over Hermes. “You should have stayed ignorant.”

It was a threat but moreso, it was a painful plea. One that stabbed deeper than a knife as Joker pressed closer. All Jun could feel was complete betrayal and a cold, isolated loneliness that was not his own as cries echoed deafeningly in his head.

Some things hadn’t added up, it was true, but that was what they were searching for: to understand. It was blurry but Jun couldn’t think of one solid reason why he would abandon him. Tatsuya was important. The “why” was missing but as he stared up at the boy before him, face obscured by a mask that made his heart ache with an all too familiar hurt, Jun at least knew this to be true. As Joker pressed closer, so did his corrupted Persona. Jun almost didn’t catch the shudder from Hermes as that broken maw hung over its golden helm, ready to snap shut the moment Jun lost himself to his own hesitating resolve. It was slipping.

“You left me.”

Jaws started to bite down. The golden helm began to crush under the pressure and a sharp throbbing pain shot through Jun’s head. He tried fighting against it, but his thoughts were fuzzy and a tangled mess trying to sort itself out. Joker didn’t relent.

“Tatsuya!” It was Maya. Jun barely noticed Joker look away from him. A gunshot rung out, crashing like booming thunder and Joker’s Persona screeched back, Hermes’ head falling from its maw as a bullet struck the split face between the empty eyes. Through the smoke of the gun, Helios shot forward. Its extended claws dug into the mutated Persona as it tackled it and dragged it away. It made a thick squelching noise as Helios drove it into the deck floor.

Joker screamed. It was distorted and shattering and he single-mindedly charged at his brother, leaving Jun on shaky legs. Hermes disappeared from behind him as Jun’s knees buckled. His head spun, and maybe he could blame some of it on the rocking ship, but he could feel his center of gravity shift and tumble and he waited for the impact of hitting the ground. It never came. Firm arms grabbed him and gently guided him down. Jun found it hard to breathe but Maya was suddenly in front of him, fretting over him. He realized it must have been Ulala that had caught him. He was grateful.

“Jun. Are you alright?” Maya asked, hands hovering and gently touching his shoulder as she looked him over with a critical eye.

“I’m fine,” Jun assured. He wasn’t honestly sure about it as his head pounded and something ached too deeply in his chest. He told himself it was just his ribs; not the cold spike of abandonment still splintering in his heart that echoed. Ulala helped him to his feet and Jun could stand, so it was enough. The breath he took shuddered from his frayed nerves. He felt for Hermes, noting its phased state. But, like him, it was desperate to keep pushing forward. Jun stood tall and met Maya’s questioning eyes. Her face hardened as she must have seen his determination.

They were all more worried over the broken state of Tatsuya.

“C’mon,” Ulala urged, “Katsuya needs help.”

It was like stray cats fighting in a back alley. As their Personas dart past one another, scraping at any opportunity with claws like razors, Joker was lashing out from haywire emotions. He threw a desperate punch, hitting Katsuya square in the face. Though he was barely staggered by it, those red sunglasses clattered to the ground. Katsuya was clearly pulling his punches; attempting to grapple his brother down instead of fighting back. Whether it had been due to the struggle of split attention or the bizarre brutality of Joker’s physical assault, Katsuya was too late deflecting another fist. As Joker’s Persona sunk its claws into Helios and slammed it into the ground, Katsuya tripped and Joker pinned him down.

Just before fists started pounding down, Maya and Ulala start to run towards the scuffle.

“Wait!” Jun yelled out. “Go help Helios reign in Apollo.” Jun didn’t have time to process the look of confusion that crossed Ulala’s face, or what it meant. It fell from his mouth without a thought. She fumbled only momentarily before darting off the other way. As Jun grabbed Maya’s arm and started running, he could hear Ulala’s shouts for Baofu to follow her lead. Behind them, a distorted screech bellowed.

“Tatsuya, stop!” Maya cried out, and Maia flew ahead, a cold trail of frost trailing behind. A fist held above his head hesitated and Joker quieted. It was a somber silence though something of familiarity broke through. Maia reached out its delicate hand and yanked Joker’s arm back hard enough to pry his body entirely off Katsuya. The silence shattered like glass as Joker yelled out in protest, fighting against Maia’s immovable grip. He struggled as Maia wrapped both arms around him, yelling out for his Persona but nothing came of it. Odysseus and Callisto had it pinned as Helios faded from a small crater.

It was like watching a child throw a tantrum, unable to process the magnified emotions and having no outlet.

“Please stop this, Tatsuya. Listen to us!” Maya begged as Maia began to struggle to keep its hold on Joker. The yells and the cries coming from Joker hadn’t been human. As the ground flared and glowed around him, the air felt ready to crack. Whatever strength Maia had left had been drained as Joker thrashed and pried an arm free. It struggled to regain a grip as Maya’s concentration began to falter as well. A hand whipped across himself as fingers dug deep into whatever part of Maia’s face Joker could grab onto. With a brief spark of warning, a small eruption of fire exploded in his palm. Maia recoiled with a sharp shriek, dissolving into the air behind him as its cries dissipated. Joker sagged, stumbling forward.

The mutated Persona slowly dissolved away from underneath Callisto’s heel as a thinly veiled calm started to settle. Whatever fight Joker had in him melted away as he shook, body trembling. Jun felt it. A deep set frustration spurred on from a twisted sense of guilt that Jun knew had no place though no solid reason as to why. It wasn’t much of a comfort.

“Tatsuya,” Jun’s voice strained as he took a step forward. Joker recoiled away as though just hearing his name or Jun’s voice was too much. A gloved hand shakily reached up and pressed hard against that black mask, just over a blank eye. “What happened to you?” Jun felt his own eyes start to sting. He’s not sure if he meant for it to have an answer.

Even against the roar of the ocean as waves beat against the hull of the ship, Jun heard it. It was soft and choking. It hadn’t mattered what was going on around him, Jun wouldn’t pull his eyes away from Joker. As what sounded like a sob shook his whole body, something cracked. It splintered and a segment of that black mask began to break. Pieces crumbled from the jaw and though he tried to catch them, they slipped through Joker’s fingers and shattered against the dock. About half of his mouth was visible, but Jun saw how wet his cheek had become.

“He’s crying,” Maya muttered behind him. Joker choked back another sob. More tears fell from his exposed face, catching in the spotlights of the ship. Through his own blurring vision, Jun took a step forward as though falling into an all too familiar role, pulled by strings that desperately want to reconnect. He took another step. Then another. He heard someone protest, to be cautious, and he ran. He could barely see through the tears that refused to fall and burned his eyes.

“Stop!” Joker desperately lashed out. Jun immediately stopped, almost tripping over himself. He felt the first tear slip down his cheek. He didn’t blink away the rest yet and just stared at the other. Joker folded over himself as another sob shook his body. “You abandoned me.”

Apollo—the disfigured remains of it—molded itself out of Joker’s back like an inky shadow and rose above him. Its arms draped down over Joker’s shoulders as its malicious claws take hold. Through his tears, Jun met Apollo’s gaze. Where that bullet had struck its face, the mask began to crack and split clean down the middle. It splintered and Jun could see red eyes of a black skeletal face rotting just beneath.

“Go where this all started,” Joker finally spoke up, voice drained and cracking from the weight. The ground beneath Joker’s feet began to glow and Jun’s heart lodged itself in his throat. He was going to be gone again. “If you want to know so bad.”

The air felt thick and Jun found himself running again. He screamed Tatsuya’s name, voice shaking, before he stumbled and hit the warm scarred ground hard where Joker once was. He was gone. Jun’s eyes were too heavy and painful as they filled with more hot tears that finally spill down his face. He pushed himself up on shaky arms, fighting his own lungs to breathe again. He stared out across the ocean, the dark horizon blurring into the black sky.

There were soft footsteps behind him as he heard Maya come up behind him. Jun dragged himself up, hands scraping against ground. Metal scraped along with it and Jun stopped. Fingers wrap around the object he hadn’t realized he had landed on and he gently picked it up. In his palm was an old wristwatch. The second hand was motionless. Jun stared at it as his hands trembled. It was heavy and the most important thing he ever held.

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder. He couldn’t pull his gaze away yet but Jun knew Maya felt just as frustrated and saddened.

“He’s gone…” Ulala sighed. The wind howled across the ship deck. Jun tried not to hear those cries in it. “Now what do we do?”

“We need to pursue Tatsuzou, first of all,” Katsuya answered. He held his red sunglasses in his hands before slipping them back on, hiding the blooms of an impressive bruise forming around one eye. He didn’t sound pleased. “Then we’ll find Tatsuya. He’s too wrapped up in all of this.”

“Tch… And just where do you think he’s run off to?” Baofu scoffed. Katsuya shot him a sharp look that Baofu didn’t even respond to.

Jun knew, though. Whether Tatsuya would be there or not, Jun knew where they needed to head as soon as they could. It felt like it called and deep down he felt Hermes agree. His hands reverently wrapped around the wristwatch. “Alaya Shrine,” He said as he sat up. He held his head high. “Just beyond there is Mount Iwato. That’s where we need to go for answers.”

 

> Mount Iwato

Ever since they passed the shrine, it felt like time had shifted. The trees loomed without judgement and it was like the mountain had been waiting for them, watching their approach. This place felt safe and yet, in the back of Jun’s mind, a place he hadn’t touched in a long time, not that he ever actually had. Something dark had settled in what should be a peaceful place. They all silently enter the cave system that was nestled in the mountainside. Moisture dripped from the walls and ceiling. It was an old sound, untouched and unchanging. It resonated deep in his soul.

This was the place Joker had told them to go. It had to be. Strings tugged as Hermes urged Jun forward. A part of him wondered if Maya could feel the same pull or anything similar. She kept pace with him at Jun’s side and he didn’t doubt it. The cave system twisted and turned and yet Jun had known exactly where to go, which turns to take and which would lead to a dead end. He had no memories of ever being here and yet something incredibly familiar and sad permeated the very walls.

The tunnel widened, forming an empty room. The air was cool and crisp, but it was the silence and stillness of everything that felt as though it was delicate. As they enter, Ulala quietly gasped in awe. What little light managed to reach this deep into the caves was scattered across the small lake of water that had collected. Reflections danced across the walls. A reflecting pool; that was what this place was called, Jun remembered. He wasn’t sure if it was his own heart or the reflecting pool itself but he felt a pull toward it.

Maya stepped forward and leaned in just enough to catch Jun’s eye. She was quiet but her smile is so encouraging. It melted away any of Jun’s hesitation.

“Go on,” she prompted, “Let’s find out what’s really going on.” Jun took one look back towards the others who stood back at the entrance of the room with a mix of interest, concern, and skepticism. Jun nodded and turned toward the pool.

It was beautiful, flat and still like a mirror. Looking out across the pool, Jun couldn’t actually tell how deep the room went or even where the surface started. A drop from a stalactite fell and disrupted the harmony. The ripples spread out across the surface and Jun couldn’t look away. He leaned over the ledge just above the water and it felt as though he fell in. It was almost reminiscent of when he fell into his own consciousness, where a butterfly had spoken to them in a broken voice. Memories flash by of another life and Jun saw a young boy. His brown hair is as warm as the evening sun as it set over the trees that surrounded the shrine. He had such wide, kind eyes. And Jun had wanted so much to talk to him.

He remembered building up the courage to step forward and they talked. Or Jun had talked to the boy, but that boy had listened to him so earnestly. It was nice. It was comfortable. It was so much better than the yelling and arguing and all the painful silence that filled his own home as his parents fought. He had learned the boy’s name.

Tatsuya.

So quickly he had become Jun’s best friend. They had become important to each other in a way that they were incapable of describing. Suddenly, Jun’s heart ached as he remembered the childish promise they had made to each other and how tightly he had clung to that. An emptiness that had carved out a piece of his chest began to fill with those memories. They were heavy.

Amidst the passing memories children played in the shade of the shrine. A small tight knit group of friends who each held each other close. Jun remembered how precious that time had been, how important they all had become to each other.

A fire had ruined everything and Jun started to remember conflicting memories. Desperate pleas that ended up leading to a childish mistake, and yet Jun remembered the way his father told him it was all that boy’s fault. All he could feel then was sadness, guilt, and an anger that should not have existed in one so young, one that was carefully nurtured and cultivated and sculpted until only a blind fury was left. He remembered the role he had played and the name he had taken up. And he remembered each and every person who had called for Joker’s help and those who had been lost. A city burned and was reduced to ruins for some false premise and promise of a better world, a better way of life.

There had been fighting and pain. Frustrated and desperate anger that had begged for power and Jun remembered the sudden regret. It had been Maya’s desperate pleas of his own name he couldn’t remember that broke through. It was all of theirs. After all he had done, after all the lives he had ruined from his orders, his friends had been worried.

That white mask with its painted false smile, the one he had clung to for so long and reminded him of his delusional goal, had crumbled. Shattered pieces had fallen and the empty and screaming hole in his chest started to fill.

Jun fell to his knees. He clung tight to the edge of the rock as he peered closer to the water’s surface. Pieces fell into place so neatly and the guilt that he had been carrying had meaning now. His hand trembled as he fought the urge to reach out and touch the pool just below. He couldn’t bring himself to disturb the mirror, or how soft Tatsuya’s face had been as he looked at Jun for the first time in years. It was precious.

But that gentle face morphed into broken despair. It had broken all of them. And Maya still smiled. They had fought so hard, taken all the right steps, and yet Tatsuya held a bleeding Maya who still smiled. It had broken all of their hearts. Jun sat up and stared out across the dark room.

“I remember,” he said in the heavy air. His hand pressed to his chest just over his heart before his fingers clenched the rough fabric of his uniform jacket. Hesitantly, Jun turned toward Maya who stared out over the crystal clear water with everyone else. He noted how her hand pressed to her abdomen in an all too familiar place. Jun swallowed down the lump in his throat. “We all made a promise to save you.” He remembered how much they had given up in that deal with Philemon.

“Ma-ya,” Ulala spoke up as gently as she could, “Is that why you’ve been having those weird phantom pains? The déjà vu?”

It felt like a lifetime ago, and yet the memories were so clear now. He can’t help but think of Tatsuya and how unfair it was. He wanted to cry.

“This doesn’t make sense,” Katsuya remarked after the air started to settle. His face was stern as he sat on everything everyone just saw. Jun pushed himself up to stand and looked out over the silent pool once again. It settled over his heart, a strong resolve. Katsuya continued, “What we just saw: that was supposed to be the past, correct? But none of those things have happened.”

“Because none of it _has_ happened,” Jun answered. He turned toward the group and held himself tall. He was certain. The wristwatch he held in his hand was heavy with purpose and he wasn’t going to waste it. “At least, not on This Side.”

“‘This Side’? So you’re saying you believe all that?”

“I do believe it,” Jun said firmly. Katsuya remained firm, yet didn’t press further. “I remember… everything. It all makes sense now, as well. All that we’ve learned and everything that’s happening within the city, it has all been to make that prophecy we read at the hospital true again. It explains what happened to Tatsuya, why he’s been acting differently.” Katsuya visibly bristled at the mention of his brother, but Jun needed to play that card. A part of the man must believe in this to some extent. Because Jun knew Tatsuya. This wasn’t anything like him.

Silence over took the cave once again, and Jun let it sink in. He remembered all those years his other self had been alone, fed lie after lie to fuel a mourning anger. The feeling of betrayal had been the worst, and Tatsuya felt the same. Whatever had caused his memories to trigger, or whether he had even given them up to begin with, something had gone very wrong. Jun had an idea of who could be behind the manipulation. His thumb rubbed over the ridged edge of the wristwatch he held.

“He thinks we abandoned him…” Maya said forlornly. It was like the thought alone was enough to break her heart. Finding two of the most important people to him having found each other again must have opened an already bleeding wound in Tatsuya, and someone was twisting the knife even more with whispered lies and exaggerations. Jun knew how blinding that sort of grief was.

“Poor guy…” Ulala breathed. She quickly looked up, distressed at a thought she must have had. “How are we supposed to help him like this? It’s not like we can just go out and find him. And I doubt he really wants to see you two, anyway.”

“We’ll find him.” Maya’s assured resolve sounded so solid. Just in her eyes, she left no room for any doubt and it was a much needed salve. “All we can do is keep going and put a stop to the New World Order before it gets out of hand. I’m sure we’ll come across Tatsuya again before too long.” She turned to Jun and her smile is so bright and strong, just like Jun remembered. It almost knocked him off kilter. “I remember how hard he fought to save you. We all did. And we’re going to do the same for him. We just have to think positive, and we’ll get him to understand that we would never abandon him.”

It really was her. Jun’s heart stirred at the relief and the memory, the mix of anger and frustration when it was all over. He looked down at the wristwatch, carefully cradling it in his hands. It was silent and still, like it was all those years, but Jun knew it would start once again. It slipped over his wrist and as he closed the clasp, he resolved to make sure it would start again. It didn’t matter how long it would take or what he would have to do, they were going to save Tatsuya. Jun’s heart felt to burst with adoration and determination and everything changed with the winds. The watch on his wrist may be silent now, but he felt the steady and sure rhythm of an eternal clock tick away. A beat to follow, Chronos would keep him focused and going.

 

> Collective Unconscious

Tatsuya’s face should never look so snide. A disgusting self-assurance, bordering past cocky, was on full display. No one was fooled by it and those golden eyes know it. That smile didn’t diminish in the least; it pulled more on that mouth that should only ever have the kindest of smiles.

Jun stared daggers at it. That being had no right to wear that face, parading around with an inflated sense of satisfaction as though it had accomplished something. It made sure they all knew it had the upper hand. That smirk twisted more as it looked to Jun, something glinting in those golden eyes that knew too much, as though it pulled apart the inside of Jun’s chest to expose his heart. Jun pushed down the swell of anger at the memory of it doing just that before to his other self.

“If you hate me so much,” the imposter said as it stood across the open void, “why not shoot me already?”

Jun didn’t flinch. It was a double-edged sword and he knew what sort of game it was playing. He wouldn’t fall for it again. It must have found it amusing. That was the most annoying thing. Maya stepped forward, a stern determined glare marring her face. The others follow close behind. The games, the distractions and diversions needed to end here and that self-satisfied smirk only grew.

“Give Tatsuya back to us,” Maya yelled out. The whole atmosphere felt to shift, resonating with an oppressive despair that stole the air from Jun’s lungs. It reverberated deep in his bones. Nyarlathotep, twisting Tatsuya’s normally stoic and kind face, laughed, cruel and patronizing.

“Human’s truly are such selfish creatures.” It took a decisive step back and in its place a darkness flared up from a glowing ring. A familiar black silhouette formed. “They finally see the repercussions of their decisions and now they want you back.” It spoke directly to the figure as the black melted away. Joker— _their_ Tatsuya—still clad in that black gakuran and broken, crying mask, stood. He was too still, like strings had been the only thing still holding him up against the weight of the fabricated guilt and sadness. Nyarlathotep noticed and shifted golden eyes out across the void. It leaned in close to Joker’s shoulder. “Would you take them back? After they _abandoned_ you?”

“Get away from him!” Maya cried. Nyarlathotep barely responded beyond shifting its gaze to her.

“If I recall correctly,” it droned in a matter-of-fact tone that dripped of contempt meant to spur, “I don’t think you ever actually agreed to the terms of the arrangement. They decided for you, never even considering your feelings on the matter.” The air felt like it was melting as anguish swelled into an inferno. “You didn’t keep your end of the deal, but was it not _their_ fault for setting you up for failure in the first place?”

“Don’t listen to that piece of shit, Tatsuya!” Ulala spat out, stopping herself from rushing forward for that smug visage. As Joker crumpled more into himself, Nyarlathotep straightened and stepped back. Those gold eyes shined in the darkness.

“And they want you back.” Its voice was full of fake spite as it vanishes into the empty void that surrounded them. It was impossible to say if it truly left or if it was always present, always watching the struggle play out. The floor below brightly glowed, harsh and hard light spreading from around Joker’s feet as his Persona peeled itself away from his form. When Jun laid eyes on it, his heart stopped.

Its deformation had worsened in such a short amount of time. Lies and manipulation had warped it to an unrecognizable form. A serpentine body stretched above Joker as its clawed hands, sickly thin and emaciated, hung over his shoulders. It was the skeletal gaping maw that was the most startling. Its jaw hung low as though dislocated, and huge sharp teeth stuck out every which way. It was angry with the way it shook as though barely able to hold any sort of physical form, but mostly all Jun could feel as he stared at it was insurmountable pain.

Everything grew so still, stretched thin and ready to snap if anyone made the wrong move. Whatever had been left of Apollo spasmed. Jun tried to fight down the debilitating weight on his own heart as he looked at Joker like this. It ached.

“Tatsuya,” Maya’s voice pleaded. Everything shattered and Jun knew that it was the catalyst.

In a shuttered blink, Joker and the deformed, mangled form of Apollo vanished. The thick silence of this strange place buzzed with anxious anticipation. Trying to reason with Tatsuya when while he was in such a distraught state was going to prove to be difficult. Jun remembered how his other self had denied the truth despite it being bared to him so plainly.

“Where did he go?” Katsuya asked. Everyone instinctively gravitated closer, eyes flitting around wherever the glowing light of the floor reached. Jun realized, if he focused on it, he knew. With a sharp gasp, golden wings wrapped around him just as claws raked at metal feathers with a piercing scream. It had enough power behind it to push Jun and Chronos back to slam into Maya. With a cold burst, the air sharply froze around Artemis as Maya called for it, Chronos flying past with a burst of wind. The shards of ice shot toward the screaming maw, forcing it back to retreat to the silence once again.

“I don’t want to fight him,” Maya starts, loud enough for everyone to hear as she helped Jun stand, “But we’re not going to get through to him like this.” Their eyes met and Jun understood. It was the Caracol all over again. Agony could be blinding.

A spark was their only warning before a blazing inferno engulfed the entire area like a crashing wave. Astria rushed forward at Ulala’s cry, forcing the flames to part around them with its billowing wind. With the roar of the fire and the howl of the winds, Ulala struggled to keep her ground. Groaning through her fight to keep pushing, Astria pushes its own hands harder, like pushing through a solid wall. The fire surged with a dark undercurrent, sparks flying.

Baofu rushed to Ulala’s side. Prometheus, great arms raised above its head, slammed its hands down. It sounded glass shattering and huge pieces of earth rupture the ground, blocking off the unrelenting fire. Astria faded away in relief as Ulala let go of the breath she held.

“I don’t remember the kid being this strong the last time,” Baofu said exasperated as he helped Ulala find her balance again.

Tatsuya may not realize it himself, but Jun knew what it was like to drown. A desperate fight over thoughts and overbearing emotions as a malicious hand, offering salvation, pushed down deeper. A cruel act disguised as mercy. Tatsuya was destined to drown in his own regret and grief all while desperately believing he was doing the right thing. It hurt like thorns around his heart. Jun didn’t want Tatsuya to fall like he had.

The inferno died down and the fabricated earth crumbled away. The black abyss was the only thing that greeted them.  It was just out of sight—always just out of sight like the coward it truly was—but there were eyes on them, heavy and cold. It was watching the pathetic display, readying any lie it could weave to keep Tatsuya ensnared in its web. Jun swore he was going to tear it down by his own hands.

He could feel it, the brittle regret that wrapped around Tatsuya’s neck like a noose. It was a beacon he never intended that pin pricked in the back of his mind. Apollo was crying out in too much agony to hide from him any longer. It beelined for them. Fire erupted from the floor at their side, howling as it rose in red and black flame that dripped like oil. Out of the crest of the wave, that skeletal maw emerged. Chronos rose up from behind Jun, but Apollo was too fast. The wave of fire and spindling claws slammed down into him. Golden feathers scatter from the flames. Jun heard his name being screamed before silence over took and he fell. It felt like he broke the surface of the ocean, in a perpetual free fall into nothing. But there was something. Chrono’s arms wrapped around Jun as its wings spread and righted the both of them from spiraling into the hollow void.

He couldn’t see it, but there was something solid under Jun’s feet as Chronos gently guided him down. With both feet planted, the ground lit up not unlike where the others had been left behind. Somehow, the eerie glow reminded him of the gentle light of the reflecting pools. No part of this place was welcoming, however. A low hum vibrated the air and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

A clash against Chronos’ metal wings at his side made Jun yell. Those glowing red eyes pierce through the black and they were the only warning Jun had against the claws relentlessly striking at the defense. Sparks flew at each blow and the flicker was enough to light up that broken face briefly.

Chronos’ hand managed to deflect a claw and a bright burst of light sent Apollo screeching back. Jun wanted to avoid hurting it as much as possible, but Joker was giving him little choice. Jun supposed he deserved to carry that guilt himself.

In the relent of the onslaught, Jun saw the figure to his side. He turned and Joker was standing a few feet away. The black mask was still broken at the bottom half. His mouth, what little Jun could see, fought off a mournful grimace. Jun stared.

“You don’t want to fight me, Tatsuya,” Jun gently observed. Joker’s shoulders slackened and Jun knew he was right. Joker tensed up all over again, like the fragile resolve he had was pulled back together and tethered haphazardly. Jun stood tall and open. He noticed how the other didn’t answer. Joker held up a sword and sunk down into a fighting stance Jun found familiar. Jun’s own hand came up to his chest as his fingers toyed with the sturdy stem of the yellow iris in his breast pocket. His middle finger pressed against the glass vial as he slowly pulled the flower out with his thumb and index finger. He never looked away from Tatsuya, eyes looking over that shattering black mask. Jun wanted to break it and honestly look into Tatsuya’s face.

Jun wanted to scatter the pieces and rebuild.

Joker lunged forward, silent as he raised the sword. Jun pivoted out of the way of the slash, and twisted enough to strike his elbow to the side of Joker’s head. The mask cracked more, pieces flying away as the rest of the lower half of Tatsuya’s face was revealed.

Jun knew Tatsuya. He knew the fierce fire that burned deep in that kind and gentle heart of his, what a shining light it was for him. He knew his tenacity and how he used his bulk and height to his advantage. Joker barely flinched as he spun back, black pieces of porcelain falling like embers, and reeled his hand back. A spark from his palm ignited like a nova as he shot his hand toward Jun. Chronos’ wings intercept just before the blaze could strike Jun’s head. He could feel the hot intensity as flames licked from behind golden feathers.

Jun knew that Tatsuya knew Jun just as well. He was banking on those rampant emotions to cloud his judgment, like how his other self had been engulfed. Jun didn’t count himself to be very lucky, but he prayed fortune would smile just this once for him.

Pain shot up his arm and Jun cried out as razors crunch metal. The twisted remains of Apollo sink its claws deep into Chronos’ arm and neck, ripping the mechanical angel away. Metal wings went rigid as Chronos’ own hands desperately reach for the serpentine body as it whipped the both of them around. It screeched when Chronos grabbed hold of its small wings and ripped its thin body off as threw it aside. With an angered shudder, Chronos shot after Apollo.

Jun had to shake off the disorientation. Catching sight of Joker’s sword swing out again, Jun quickly bent backward under the arch. Tatsuya was usually more careful, more calculated with his power instead of wildly throwing it around. As Jun pulled himself back up, the iris flew from his fingers and struck the blade as Joker readied to lunge again. He staggered back, and he stared at Jun again.

With his one sure defense predisposed, Jun knew he was at a disadvantage yet he still stood tall. Chronos may not be at his side, but Apollo’s twisted form couldn’t interfere, either. His heart pounded against his ribs. Perhaps he wouldn’t be able to subdue Joker with brute force, but slowly leaning down to pick up the iris once again, Jun could at least pick at Joker’s already chipping resolve.

“It’s lying to you, Tatsuya,” Jun deliberately said, standing straight once again. Joker tensed up again. A blast of fire exploded at their side as Apollo screeched; Jun could feel the intensity of the flames, wincing against the blast as Chronos must have had taken the brunt of it.

Joker took a step back. He didn’t want to listen and Jun pushed forward. His words would be his weapon.

“Don’t you remember?” His fingers clenched tight to the flower stem in his hand as he watched the sword raise again. Jun didn’t mind how long it may take. An anger burned deep in his chest, but he was not mad at Tatsuya. Jun was furious for him, for what has been done to such an important person. “Tatsuya—”

Joker lunged again. As Jun jumped back out of the arching blade, he realized Joker did not like hearing his name. He wasn’t sure if it was the sound itself or simply his own voice that caused the distress. Tatsuya kept pushing, blade wildly swiping down and across in rampant arches as Jun just managed to keep himself out of its reach.

“Tatsuya!” Jun would yell that name until his voice was raw. The ground ignited in a flood of brilliant light as Tatsuya kept pushing. “This has happened before, Tatsuya!” Jun yelled, ducking down under the arch of the sword. He darted forward and sharply jabbed the stem of the iris into Tatsuya’s side like a knife as he passed. Tatsuya gasped, the first sound he had made this entire time, as he stumbled. Jun watched carefully, ready to move, but Tatsuya stilled. “It’s doing the exact same thing to you that it made the other me suffer through.”

A distorted cry interrupted the still that had started to grow and two heavy bodies crashed down between the two. Jun stumbled back as the air felt like it was suddenly knocked out of him as Chronos was slammed into the ground, Apollo screeching into its ticking face.

“I know what it’s like. The other me spent years miserably believing all those lies,” Jun yelled out over the clamor through the aching pain, “so please trust in me when I say this!” Glass sounded like it shattered as a violent burst of wind burst up from the writhing Personas. Jun covered from the blast as Apollo shot up into the air. Chronos shuddered as it pried itself from the shattered ground. Metal groans as great gold wings flap to pursue. From behind his arms, Jun looked out across the wreckage. A hand was pressed against Joker’s mask, like he was fighting off a splitting headache. His shoulders shook as the grip on the sword began to slip. “I know exactly how you feel, Tatsuya.”

What little Jun can see of Tatsuya’s face grimaced as his hand clenched the hilt of the sword. His hand must have ached. A part of Jun wanted Tatsuya to say something. A refusal, a dispute, anything would be better than the continued silence, but Jun didn’t push for it. He was pushing too hard already.

“You saved me, Tatsuya. After everything I had done, and how little I deserved that kindness. You risked yourself to save me all while I spent the entire time fighting against it.” Jun took a careful step forward. “You remember that. And you remember what happened to me because I believed that foul demon and everything he told me to be true. Why would I lie to you about any of this, when you remember it all already?”

A dark chuckle surrounded them, just out of reach to even feel real. It must be watching them; watching Jun’s useless attempts to reason with a puppet. Under that scrutinizing gaze, Jun fought against feeling a fool because he refused to fall into it again. Impossible things have happened before and Tatsuya was worth every moment of struggle if it meant he’d be safe.

Like approaching a wounded abandoned dog, Jun carefully stepped over the shattered glass of the floor as it shifted to repair itself. Jun could hear the labored breathing coming from Tatsuya. A dam ready to crack under the weight of resisting.

“Please. Tatsuya—”

The mask cracked more under the pressure of Tatsuya’s own hand, jagged edges creeping up his cheek as shards slipped from his fingers. Jun’s hand flinched. Tatsuya jerked back and blindly swung the sword out. Jun acted before he could think. His hand darted out and caught the blade in his palm, crumpling under the force and piercing pain. Metal struck the floor as Jun fell to his knees with it.

It felt like liquid fire pouring over his whole arm, radiating from his split palm. Any cry or sound was dammed up in his throat.

The void they were in, if it truly even existed, was so hauntingly quiet. A choked gasp splintered it as Jun painfully clung to the wrist of his injured hand, fighting down even more unwelcome sounds. His palm was split open, blood persistently spilling, and Jun couldn’t heal it with Chronos still distracting the remains of Apollo. But, he thought, it was fine. Jun bit down hard on his lip as his fingers dug deep into his wrist, just under the watch.

At the edge of his vision, he could see the tip of the sword, red and dripping.  Jun noted the tremor in it. The heavy tension in the air slowly dissipated and when Jun looked up, he was met with one wet and endearingly warm brown eye that peeked out from what little remained of that black mask. Jun swallowed down the solid lump in his throat and desperately reached for the words he wanted to say, needed Tatsuya to hear for the small chance to break through that final wall. He was right there. He was right in front of him. It was the most scared he had been since everything changed. Not of dying, but of failing Tatsuya again.

“I’m not leaving your side,” Jun managed to say as solidly as he could manage. He stayed kneeling on the floor, prepared to bend down into the small puddle of his own blood and beg if it came to it. But that warm eye, completely focused on him and quickly growing more glistening, said more than enough as it widened.

The sword finally slipped from trembling fingers, clattering at his side.

“I’ve told you before, Tatsuya,” Jun carefully continued. He winced as he let go of his bleeding hand and reached into his pocket. Carefully, Jun held out the engraved lighter like a precious offering. The ethereal light from below caught on the glass face of Jun’s watch. His fingers trembled as he fought through the pain shooting through that hand. “I wouldn’t say goodbye.”

Time slowed painstakingly as they stare at one another. Tatsuya’s hand twitched and slowly, oh so hesitantly, his own gloved hand reached out. As their fingers brushed, Tatsuya took a delicate hold of the lighter. It was like a breath of fresh air on a beautiful spring day. Jun wanted to cry. Instead, he smiled.

“Tatsuya.” It was a prayer between the two of them.

Tatsuya stared down at the lighter in his hand, cradling it like it would break if he so much as looked at it wrong. It was incredibly endearing and so much like the Tatsuya that Jun knew. He was still there and that was the salve Jun needed more than anything.

It felt like something broke, like strings had been cut and Tatsuya fell to his knees in front of Jun in a heavy silent heap. His hands wrapped tight over the lighter and as his hands clenched, Jun took a risk. Carefully, he reached out and touched the last remaining cracked pieces of that black mask. He hesitated when he heard a quiet sob, but with no other protest, his fingers gingerly touch cold porcelain. Everything shattered. The rest of the mask broke away, crumbling and dissipating into thin air as even the void broke apart around them.

“Jun.” It was quiet. Barely a breath, but it tipped Jun’s heart and he desperately reached out his arms and pulled Tatsuya into himself. His fingers clung tight to Tatsuya’s red jacket as Tatsuya fell into it as easily as ever, face burying into Jun’s shoulder. Like the warmth of the sun shining down, Jun felt Tatsuya’s hand reach around and shakily run up his back. Jun sank into it like it was the most natural thing for him to do, leaning more into Tatsuya’s solid weight.

“I’m here, Tatsuya,” he sighed into Tatsuya’s warm brown hair, fingers of his good hand reverently running through the strands. “I’m right here.” It almost didn’t feel real. A part of Jun expected to wake up at any time and find himself back home in his quiet, lonely life. He could feel Tatsuya breathe against him, ragged but purposeful as he tried to reign himself back in and convince himself of the exact same thing. It was proof enough.

Tatsuya shifted, a subtle movement in Jun’s arms. A small dark voice told him to hold tighter, cling to whatever remnants he could in fear of it all slipping away again, like too many times before. The thought of being left alone in the dark was terrifying. But Jun sighed, let his arms relax, and found profound relief as Tatsuya leaned his forehead against his own. His breath still hitched and Tatsuya still couldn’t look him in the eye just yet. It didn’t bother Jun in the least. He watched the simple, careful way Tatsuya looked down at his hands, a thumb reverently rubbing over the engraving as though it may fade away, or simply trying to commit its very shape to memory. Jun wondered if he ever did have it memorized at some point. Either way, it left a tender warmth in his chest he wanted to melt into.

“It’s real,” Tatsuya mumbled to himself, disbelief tangling in the sigh.

A nudge in the back of his mind, like a gentle hand extended in offering, prompted Jun to look up. Reluctantly he looked away from Tatsuya long enough to catch sight of Chronos hovering just overhead. In its arms was the limp form of whatever was left of a once imposing figure. It was still and silent, but something stirred when he felt Tatsuya start to move again. Like a faint ember in the darkness that couldn’t be snuffed out, it grew until the malformed limbs shifted and melted away.

Jun’s heart swelled at the sight of bright burning blue eyes as clear as a sunny summer day. When Apollo, whole and brilliant, turned toward Chronos, they both faded, content and sated. Jun looked down when the last of golden feathers dispersed and he was met with those warm eyes.

“This is real.”

Tatsuya had been staring the whole time.

Hesitant footsteps approach them, and Jun’s fingers clung to Tatsuya a little tighter as he looked up. Maya stopped and Jun could feel Tatsuya tense up in his arms. Jun offered a hesitant smile up to her as he carefully relaxed his hold, though his hands never left Tatsuya. He never wanted to let go ever again.

Maya knelt down beside them, hand resting on Jun’s shoulder as she gently smiled at Tatsuya, who slowly sat up, but hesitated to meet anyone’s eye. Jun gently brushed some of Tatsuya’s bangs from his face, a tender and patient touch. More footsteps approached, Ulala rushing over with Baofu and Katsuya not far behind. Jun felt Ulala quickly take his bleeding hand and wrap hers around the wound, felt the tender warmth of a glow and the sting of flesh knitting itself back together. But he was too focused on watching Tatsuya finally looking up and meeting Maya’s patient smile. It lit up, completely ecstatic and infectious and ever so subtly Tatsuya’s own smile tugged at his lips, small and soft.

“There it is…!” Maya sighed happily, relief melting away any worry she wore. “I’ve missed that smile.” Tatsuya looked away, but Maya chuckled at the faint red tint blooming on Tatsuya’s cheeks. Jun found he wanted to kiss them. He reached out instead, and caught a stray tear that slipped down with his thumb as Maya wiped away at her own.

Off in the distance, if it could even be described as existing in the first place, someone laughed. Something dark and deep, but just out of earshot to reach. Whatever it was, and deep down Jun knew, it pulled at the last thread of a string that still entangled Tatsuya’s grief. Jun wanted to rip it apart himself.

“You couldn’t keep a simple promise,” it echoed just in their ears like a spiteful mumble, “Perhaps it is no wonder you couldn’t keep your end of our bargain, either.” The last of the pieces fit together and Jun wasn’t the only one reaching out to touch, to protect. It was playing a dirty card, a last ditch effort to sway a lost cause.

But Jun didn’t worry. Tatsuya stared out across the dark void, like he knew exactly where to look, and Jun saw that familiar light in those warm brown eyes. It didn’t matter what it would cost any longer. Jun never wanted Tatsuya to lose that flame again and he never wanted to let go of the warmth in his heart of basking in it.

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @hawkeing_eta


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